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The ever after of Ashwin Rao

The Ever after of Ashwin Rao
by Padma Viswanathan
It was only now that I realized: not only had I said nothing to my colleagues about my bereavement, I had said nothing about it in my letters to the victim families. Okay, I thought now, That was wrong. But I did nothing to correct it. It wasn't only the need for scholarship that was motivating me. It wasn't only the desire to give the victims a voice. (As one grieving man had said to Mukherjee and Blaise, "'We are so wanting to talk! That wanting to talk is in all of us… we who have lost our entire families. We have nothing left except talk.'" That was eighteen years ago, but so many were still wanting to talk.) It was, as much as anything, my desire to understand what had happened to me. I had not recovered. Did anyone, from so severe a blow? Perhaps not, but I had, in some way, stopped my life. This, I suspected, might be less true for the others. It didn't seem to be true of Suresh, or he didn't feel it to be. How or why did some absorb loss into life's floodplains, while others erected a dam? Excerpted from The Ever after of Ashwin Rao by Padma Viswanathan All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
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The ever after of Ashwin Rao